I am very curious to know exactly where the term “dinner hour” came from since I usually have my family’s undivided attention at the dinner table for about – oh – 13 minutes.  Sometimes you just want to get the conversation going at the dinner table and it’s exceptionally tedious.

Not that every dinner time is always quiet in our household.  Heaven knows that the clang and clatter of five dinner plates and two dog bowls served up with mismatched cutlery, a main entrée with a side of door slam, a salad tossed with two insults, two Oreo cookie dunks courtside with a basketball commentary (replaces hockey talk for the time being), one random physics factoid followed with an appropriately timed bodily noise, and one pre-pubescent female served up with a drama or two usually provide for ample dinner din.

But everyone seems tired tonight.  The weekend is not even close and I sense everyone here is still reeling from the clocks switching back an hour.  Judging from the looks on their faces from my end of the table, it seems that extra hour of sleep has hurt more than it had helped.  I am sensing that tonight will be one of those dreaded one-sided, motherloaded conversations and I need to spring into verbal action.

Let me see now; how can I get their attention?

“My bra strap came undone in the middle of a meeting today.”


“My security card fell in the toilet today and I had to fish it out.”

An eye roll…

My skirt was stuck in my panty hose as I left the public washroom.”

A slight movement in the corner of someone’s mouth…

So I set up for the ace …

“Oh – and I accidentally farted in yoga today.”

Yeah, the clatter and clang of the dinner dishes are back in full swing, but the last one might have just been a little over the top.  I’m about to open my mouth in a half-hearted retraction, and my daughter gives me the “Please stop talking” hand gesture, my sons actually get up and leave the table and my husband serves me the, “Are you happy now?” face.

Needless to say, pretty soon I am finishing my dinner entirely alone.  My plan has backfired.


It’s kinda nice…

Once in a while…

I just might try this again sometime.

What was the scintillating conversation at your dinner table tonight?


18 Responses to A little too much wind beneath my wings …

  • After 6 months of racing back and forth to cheerleading practice and never having a Monday night dinner before 9:00 pm, my daughter proclaimed on her first night free of cheer responsibilities that she was “BORED”. So I feel your pain.

  • Such a refreshing relief from election day. Keep ’em coming, windy.

  • I was surprised to find out that my daughter’s friends are SHOCKED that we eat dinner together every night, that the food is almost always home cooked, and we have conversations. They’re not necessarily interesting conversations but everyone is expected to contribute and ask how another family member’s day was. Three out of five of us never shut up so it’s not that hard.
    Every subject imaginable has been discussed at our table—much to the embarrassment of the girl’s boyfriends. One of whom spends the majority of the meal with his head hanging down, fearful he’ll be forced to give his opinion on-homosexuality in the 18th century, vaginas (he said it without flinching-very proud of him) why it’s not okay to label girls who have sex as sluts…My daughters are 15 and 16, one of whom loves any kind of knowledge and the other who puts her fingers in her ears singing “lalalalala—I don’t need to hear this.” I am merciless.

    Last night it was politics and our right to make our own choices since the election is today.

  • They’ll never let you know it, but I guarantee, they secretly love it that you make the effort! One day they will look back on these chaotic dinners with fondness. I know I do!

  • Now that’s what I call winning your audience’s attention! hee hee! Scintillating conversation? What is that? The last time I engaged in one, I was instructing Roxy on the benefits of fish oil. ha! 🙂

  • Astra, such lovely dinner conversation. Can’t imagine why it didn’t work for you. Oh, well. There’s always next time. 😉

  • I read this the other day and was laughing out loud. So true!

  • Astra, the dinner hour is for you to prep and cook! You silly woman. I have a galley style kitchen and mine hang around while I am prepping and cooking. This is our chat time (of course, I know they are they to steal food and snack, but it’s a fair compromise in my mind. This way if they run away before I’ve even sat down to eat I’m fine because I know the nitty gritty. Well, a woman can dream.

    • My kids don’t show up during the prep time…. in fact they only show up to the dinner table after I’ve called them 6 times and threaten to let the dogs have their dinner. I need you as a mentor (or maybe a cooking teacher?)!

  • I’ll come over for dinner sometime and we can compare fart stories and really clear the room! I’m sure everyone secretly loves your one sided dinner conversations!

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About Astra
Ottawa mom of 3 poking fun at myself, motherhood, and minor hockey! I am steering through life dodging stinky hockey gear and empty wine bottles.
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