Ego:              Hey wake up sleepyhead!  It’s time to get ready for work.

Id:                 Huh (yawning)? Ready for what?

Ego:              Work. W-o-r-k.  It’s generally how you spend most of your time when you’re not on vacation like you’ve been for the past two weeks. 

Id:                 But it’s dark out.  I can’t hear the loons.

Ego:              There are no loons here.  It’s dark because it’s 5:30am and you promised to get back into your work out routine when you got back from the cottage.

Id:                 I find it exceedingly hard to believe that I promised anything that required me to be up at 5:30am. 

Ego:              That’s a big word for you so early on your first day back at work

Id                  Even if I did promise such a thing, I changed my mind.  (Rolling over) I just want to go back to bed.

Ego:              OK skip the workout for today; I know it’s hard to get back into the routine.  You do, however, have to now jump in the shower.

Id:                 The what?

Ego:              The shower!

Id:                 I’m just going to take a morning dip in the lake.

Ego:              There is no lake here and no loons; c’mon hop to it.

Id:                 (Groan) Okay.  Y’know this hot shower isn’t too bad.  Actually feels pretty good!

Ego:              Good.  I think you’ve been in there long enough.  Now, put this on.

Id:                 What is THAT?

Ego:              It’s called a bra.  Women generally wear them under their clothes – especially in a professional business setting.  Sound familiar?

Id:                 Oh yeah.  I forgot.  Nasty thing. Whoa, there! Wait a minute.  What are THOSE?

Ego:              Pantyhose.  Put them on.  C’mon now, you are really dilly dallying.

Id:                 I am NOT putting on those hose thingies.  Uh-uh. No way!  Bad enough I have to wear that bra thingy after wearing a bathing suit all day for the past two weeks.

Ego:              Okay, okay, never mind.  It is still August after all.  We’ll ease into these later.  Remember though, come Labour Day, they are MANDATORY.

Id:                 I knew I could talk some sense into you.  Okay no what?  Oh yes; how nice!  I see you’ve brought me my book.  Is it coffee time on the dock?

Ego:              Sorry.  This is your DayTimer.  Better check it and make sure your iPhone is synced with your Outlook Calendar and cross-referenced with your DayTimer.

Id:                 Stop it.  You’re starting to freak me out.

Ego:              Good thing Super Ego is not hear today.  Here.  Put your coffee in here.

Id:                 Too shiny!  Turn it off!  What is that?

Ego:              It’s a travel mug, you idiot.  For your coffee.  Helps you make it to work on time

Super Ego:    Although the way you’re acting right now, I’m not sure if we’ll get out of the garage.

Id:                 Who said that?! Who was that?!

Ego:              Shhhhh, Super Ego!  Id is not ready for you yet.

Super Ego:    Okay, okay, but she’s really getting on my nerves!  It’s a wonder she got a job in the first place

Id:                 Waaaaaahhhhhh!

Ego:              Super Ego!  Not today!  Come back some other time! Like, maybe September

Id:                 Can I go back to bed now?

Ego:              No, we’ve made it the car.  Here you go; here are the keys.

Id:                 What do I do with them?

 Pause

 Id:                 Ego? Are you there? Don’t leave me!  I’m very fragile today.

 Pause

 Id                  Ego?

 Pause

Ego:              I think you need a mental health day.

 Id:                 I am so glad I let you hang around.

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About Astra
Ottawa mom of 3 poking fun at myself, motherhood, and minor hockey! I am steering through life dodging stinky hockey gear and empty wine bottles.
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