The other day I was running some errands with my 14-year old son, which actually means I was out running errands for my son and he graced me with his presence.  After the third sporting goods store, we located the appropriate snowboard helmet (I knew ‘black’ was a versatile colour but, really?), and then we made one last stop for some XBox game that he was just absolutely the last person on earth to own.  In examining his purchase, (my money) that would now put him on level playing field with his peers (or some playing field anyway), he removed the plastic wrap and part of the plastic covering somehow got stuck to my hand, while I was driving.  

“How on earth did this get here?” I asked him, half expecting an apology for his lack of proper garbage disposal.  “You must have a negative charge.” he replied.  

Excuse me?

Call me shallow, but I found this kind of offensive.

Negative charge, my ass!  

I am brimming with optimism and cheer.

I absolutely exude positivism.

Over the next few minutes, he educated me on this scientific principle, which I am aware is based in fact. Not that I’m Einstein or anything, but it was also too much for me to be reminded of this scientific principle by a 14-year old. My 14-year old. The one I gave birth too. Fourteen years ago.

I had taken this comment very off-handed, scientific observation very personally and was ordering him to alter his claim.  I’m the boss around here, after all. “Come on, Mom, they’re just ions; it doesn’t mean anything. You’re making a big deal about of a few atoms that have nothing against you.”

Nevertheless, I bugged him about it until he finally acquiesced and blurted out in sheer frustration, “Okay! Okay!  You’re positively charged and this teeny, tiny little piece of plastic XBox wrapping is negatively charged.  Are you happy?!”

Yes.  

Now, I am happy.

So….

Are you positively charged or negatively charged today?

15 Responses to Don't you dare try to tell me I'm not positive (+)!

  • You made me smile. I lack the scientific depth your son has (he sounds like my little guy, now taller than me, but why split atoms) to answer correctly, but in general of am positively positive, expect for those dark moments. Like when I receive a rejection from a submission ( and not, it never gets easier), when I am stuck in traffic and the soccer game started ten minutes ago, when I can’t find shoes to fit my Herman Munster (size 10.5 feet) that are comfortable but oh so sexy…. Our boys are close in age…

    • I was redeemed over the weekend when he needed help with his math (and I actually could help!)! I made fun about it in this post but I too am generally very positive… except for the aforementioned 3pm dead zone … then I’m a little grumpy.

  • Totally positively charged and if my kids say anything different i will have their heads!

  • Amazing how that works – you get to pay and you get to be edified. At least he self-corrected at the end!

    He may be humbled in a few years when it’s time to get that driver’s license 8).

    • My oldest is turning 16 next month so we are just embarking on the whole teenager driving thing. As much as I could use another driver in the family – I am so not ready for all that – not at all!

  • I’m with you Astra, there are times when accuracy is absolutely everything! When you’re putting out mega dough for one of your teenagers is one of those times…

  • Astra, kids need to understand that sometimes, it’s not about the literal meaning of words, but instead, about the “unspoken” power of words. And that means that at times, whatever mom says goes. No if, and or but. Game over. Today I am positively charged, but then most days, I’m positively charged. Must be that I’ve gotten the natives to understand what Jodi said up above, my way or it’s off with your head! hee hee! 🙂

    • This was such a matter-of-fact comment by my son, totally not personal, so like him! Normally, when he talks science, he loses me after the first couple of sentences (poor guy!) but this time, I had to take control!!
      And you know what? I can tell from your writing that you’re positively charged (except when grocery shopping, in a hurry and the carts have a vendetta against you!)!!

  • Astra, how funny! You must have felt so proud listening to your son explain about ions. Sounds like you have quite a young man there. Kudos to you!

    • Yes, this whole post was an offhanded way to confirm that while I may not always understand what he’s talking about, I am very proud of him!

  • This morning, I’m not charged at all. Consider yourself LUCKY! Kids!

  • Forget the positive or negative charge, you are MAGNETIC! Everything is just drawn to you and your irresistible force. How’s that?!

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About Astra
Ottawa mom of 3 poking fun at myself, motherhood, and minor hockey! I am steering through life dodging stinky hockey gear and empty wine bottles.
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