As sensible people are enjoying the remaining summer days in the sun, I am watching the slow painful death of my flower pots knowing that with each floating, falling petal, I am one step closer to the new minor hockey season.
I wasn’t always like this. There was a time when I got excited about the upcoming hockey. There were those Initiation and Novice years (when my kids had less than 4 seasons of minor hockey under their jockstraps), and I was prepared with shiny new pint-sized hockey equipment, a fully charged camera and a gleaming new travel mug. I also remember the Atom and Peewee years, looking forward to reconvening with a solid social network and recalibrating the car pool schedule. Come the Bantam years, I started the season thinking, “two more years and they can drive themselves to the arena”, and once a Midget parent, I handed over the car keys. I have been each of these hockey moms.
I’m about to start my fifteenth season as a hockey mom, with my third and remaining player, who starts her first year of Midget play. Like corporate service awards, I think there should be rewards bestowed upon hockey moms as they reach significant milestones in their hockey mom careers! Since ‘glass’ is the traditional gift for the fifteenth anniversary, I think all hockey moms should start off their fifteenth season with a nice new wine glass! Preferably filled, of course! But then who am I kidding? I start off every hockey season with a new wine glass!
With new wine glass in hand, I can think of a few other things that would make the hockey season go down a little easier. You know, like …
- A chauffeur
- A GPS (for my chauffeur, of course)
- A skate-sharpening machine
- Magic, regenerating hockey sticks
- A 3D printer (that spits out food)
- A life-size Taylor Swift body suit and mask (for those Saturday mornings I haven’t showered)
- Self-renewing hockey laces
- A brand new unlimited Tim’s coffee card
- Deodorizers (preferably one that comes with an ozone cleaning machine)
- A personal, portable battery-operated heater
- Never-ending role of hockey tape (can never have enough hockey tape)
- A million dollars (yes, actually, that would be round of my wish list nicely)
We’ve already invented a self-parking car, a selfie stick, and a watch that tell us our flights are delayed, surely someone out there is working on my wish list?
September is upon us, and it’s time to pull out my hockey blanket and put an extra pair of socks in my purse.
So much for progress.
Hope your summer is winding down slower than mine.