Contract for Services Rendered

This agreement is made this day of Friday October 6, 2011 between Better Hockey Parent (hereinafter referred to as “the Provider”), having its principal place of business in Hockeyville, Canada and Ever-Growing-Lazy Hockey Parent (hereinafter referred to as “the Client”), having its principal place of business down the street from Hockeyville, Canada.

The Client hereby engages the Provider to provide services described herein under “Scope and Manner of Services.” The Provider hereby agrees to provide the Client with such services in exchange for consideration described herein under “Payment for Services Rendered.”

Scope and Manner of Services

Services to be rendered by Provider:

  1. Deliver by all means possible but legal, the appropriate hockey playing offspring to Saturday morning practice at designated time (0600) and specified location (see team website); and,
  2. Ensure all manner of protective equipment is available and appropriated engaged during aforementioned 0600 practice; and
  3. Return appropriate hockey playing offspring to principal place of residence following practice; or (if return time is estimated to be earlier than 0800h),
  4. Appropriately engage and supervise appropriate hockey playing offspring until the designated time of return.

Payment for Services Rendered by Client:

The Client agrees to pay the Provider for services rendered according to the Payment Schedule attached, within one (1) calendar day of the end of the 2011-2012 minor hockey season for services rendered from the Provider.

  1. Reimbursement for all Tim Horton’s coffee supply and required sustenance (i.e. donuts, Timbits, Red Bull) for aforementioned 0600 practice; and
  2. Provide necessary reasonable and customary reimbursement of all fees associated with required skate sharpening fees for the 2011-2012 hockey season (including any and all play-off games); and,
  3. Assume responsibility for all fundraising activities of offspring’s teammate for the 2011-2012 hockey season, including but not limited to
    1.  bottle drives,
    2. pumpkin sales,
    3.  raffles,
    4. Christmas wreath sales,
    5. chocolate bar sales,
    6.  gift card sales,
    7. PamperedChef product sales,
    8. fantasy hockey pool participation, and
    9. any other extraordinary fundraising activities partaken by the team; and,
  4. Provide necessary and appropriate infusions for the next out-of-town hockey tournament (strictly limited for consumption by only those that have reached the age of majority in the specified location of the out-town hockey tournament) including reimbursement of intermittent but probable watering hole tab; and,
  5. Provide pleasingly scented seasonal laundry service for all UnderArmor garments and socks associated with and worn during the 2011-2012 minor hockey season (the Provider shall designate appropriate rotation and delivery of said garments); and,
  6. Be appointed, and provide safe and reliable service as, the designated driver for the Provider and the Provider’s Spouse to the parent hockey party whichever date immediately follows the date of abovementioned 0600 hockey practice.

Should the Client fail to pay the Provider the full amount specified in any of the aforementioned clauses within the date specified by the Provider, a late fee equal to Offspring’s Teammate’s first-year tuition fees at an accredited college or university of their enrolment, shall be paid and interest of 10 percent per annum shall accrue from the calendar day following the end of the 2011-2012 hockey season.

Applicable Law

This contract shall presumably be governed by the laws of the County of Canada and in the Province of Ontario and any applicable but not entirely useful law, rule, precedent, practice, tradition, routine, habit of typical hockey parents.

Signatures

In witness of their agreement to the terms above, the parties or their authorized agents (not to include abovementioned offspring or teammate of offspring) hereby affix their signatures:

____________________________________

Better Hockey parent   

____________________________________

Ever-Growing-Lazy Hockey Parent

 

Author’s note:  You think this is bad?  You should see the contract drawn up when my husband has to take our kids to 6am hockey practices! A girl’s gotta do what a girl’s gotta do.

6 Responses to Oh, the things I would do to get out of a 6am hockey practice!

  • Good luck collecting! I estimate my sons owe me approx. and at last counting, $23,496.43, for gas, insurance, coffee and pop and various sundry food items, 3 tires, one engine, paint job on truck and car from skates, equipment, and tantrums, pain killers (for Mom, not players), and a minor lawsuit from husband for alienation of affection.
    I’m not holding my breath either.
    This was excellent! Loved it, but then I love most of you write. Bravo, yet again.

    • So true! So true…. Part II of this post would have been the contract I’d have to endure if my husband were to take any of our 3kids to 6a practice including a clause directed at ‘alienation of affection’!!

  • This makes me stressed just looking at the fundraising activities! I truly sympathize with you. I don’t know if kids appreciate it now, but when it’s their turn they might appreciate it. Or so I’ve been told. I’m still waiting! Good luck…and keep your sense of humor!

    • Thanks for stopping by Annie. Let it be known I truly hate fundraising. My next Dinner Club with my friends, I know we will all spend the first 20 minutes just writing cheques to each other!

  • Bahahaha! My favorite part is the laundry bit. Trust me, I know what hockey attire smells like (and my hockey player is grown…my husband!), and it ain’t pretty! I’d do just about anything to get out of THAT. And 6 am hockey practice, too, I suppose. Why do the practices have to be at suck inconvenient times? My husband recalls having 11 pm hockey practice as a teenager. That’s crazy!

    P.S. You are mentioned in my latest post because something you wrote inspired it. 🙂

    • Thank you so much for mentioning my blog in your post… As I said, that post was scary for me!! Yes, I commiserate with your husband… the absolute worst for me is when my oldest has a practice that ends at 11p and my youngest has one of the precious 6am-ers the following day. I am a tad irritable on those days 🙁

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About Astra
Ottawa mom of 3 poking fun at myself, motherhood, and minor hockey! I am steering through life dodging stinky hockey gear and empty wine bottles.
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