My husband and I are having a minor disagreement about noisemakers.  No, I don’t mean our children, although we do disagree about them plenty.  We are talking about my hockey fan noisemakers.  Now, for most people, noisemakers probably evoke the image of kazoo-like tooter that is synonymous with New Year’s Eve music making.  Or for others, it probably brings back memories of the constant drone of the vuvuzela in the background of the FIFA World Cup Soccer Championships from South Africa in 2010.

The "lucky" earrings

Noisemakers are shakers, and I use them shamelessly at my kids’ hockey games.  They’re nothing special, just old empty water or Gatorade bottles semi-filled with coffee beans that make a great shaker noise reminding me of musical shakers from the percussion family of instruments.  My dear husband thinks differently.  He thinks they’re embarrassing and obnoxious.  “Isn’t it enough that you wear your lucky earrings and team scarf?” he asks.  Nope, I don’t think so.  Personally, I think he should consider himself lucky that I’m not the foam finger-sporting kind, or one that paints my face red, white and black.  But I do like my noisemakers.  They are tension relievers for this stressed out goalie mom.  The noise that comes from my noisemaker drowns out the noise in my head steeped in sheer panic.

Anyway, he took my daughter to her first tournament game last weekend.  He hemmed and hawed about packing the noisemakers.  Pretended he didn’t have room or something like that.  Seriously, like I would fall for that.

So now word has got out that I am not going to the Lysander Hockey Association Thanksgiving Tournament in Syracuse.  He will be going instead and taking my middle son, while I manage the hockey home front.  As most of you could have predicted, some of the other moms asked me to make sure the noisemakers were packed.  You see, I made 24 of them to ensure there were enough to go around.  Don’t want anyone feeling left out, after all.  Anyway, that’s enough for 12 moms to have 2 each, because the hockey dads seem a little reluctant to shake theirselves.

So, once again, I remind him to not forget the noisemakers and he once again he is balking.  This time, not about the lack of room (it’s true:  a quick stop at the duty-free will seriously cut back on the free space in his car!).  No, this time he thinks they’re going to get confiscated by the border officials.  My coffee bean-filled water bottles.  Can you not just picture it?

Border official:  Passports, please. Where you folks from?

DH: Ottawa.

Border official:  Where are you headed?

DH:  A hockey tournament in Syracuse (it will be tough for the border official to dispute this, given the mound of goalie equipment in the back of the Jeep, in case the stench doesn’t tip him off first).

Border official:  Any alcohol or tobacco on board?

DH:  No sir (boldface lie, but I don’t blame him for leaving this part a little on the vague side).

Yes, these coffee beans are being tortured

Border official:  What’s in that black bag?

DH:  Why, they’re noisemakers, sir…(we Canadians are so polite, after all)

Border official: Noisemakers?! Did you say noisemakers?!  Are you not aware that they are a contravention of Homeland Security’s US Container Security Initiative, Section 403, clause 4, subclause (a) strictly prohibiting noisemakers from Canada entering US soil???!  I’m afraid I’m going to have to confiscate them right now!

DH:  Why no sir!  I didn’t know.  So sorry, sir!  Here.  Take them …

I’m pretty sure that’s how DH thinks it will unfold.  To spare himself and my son this border crossing humiliation and blatant act of terrorsim, the noisemakers might end up being left on Canadian soil.  So. If your US Thanksgiving travels take you across the border for whatever reason and you are welcomed into Canada or back into with a chorus of border officials singing, In the Jungle, shaking MY noisemakers, you’ll know why…

I gotta get those noisemakers to Syracuse!

I’m shakin’ it while I still got somethin’ to shake!

8 Responses to Spirit! Let’s Hear It!

  • Okay, as a hockey mom who has been lugging around a bag of noisemakers for 3 years and is now known as the ‘shaker lady’ or the ‘bag lady’ I know where you are coming from. If for some reason I’m not at a game the moms (and dads) are asking for them and each game they are all in the hands of some hard cheering fans – the team needs all the cheering can get!!! The boys now automatically pack the bag (and blanket, some lucky fan gets the use of my blanket when I’m not there apparently) and haul it in with all the other hockey and trainer gear that is packed in the back. I’m sure some understanding parent will fill his coffee with a little cheer during the morning game to thank him for making the sacrifice, breaking down and going against everything he stands for just to bring some Canadian noise to the rink!

    • Yes! If anyone I know could relate – it’s you! I too was nicknamed the bag lady last year with the shaker bag over one shoulder and goalie pads over the other! Just to be on the safe side, though, I’m going to hand them over to another mom at the game tonight (on the outside chance that there is a problem with this contraband at the border, better be their family and not mine, right?) Thanks, as always, for reading and for your perspective! ~A

  • So funny what our husbands won’t do. I have decided never to push, picking other battles. Or I figure out how to have him think it was his idea.

    • Jodi! That’s brilliant! I’ll just have to get him to think it was his idea. Battles should be picked, true, but I figure since I’ve done most of the 6am practices in the last 12 years, I’m owed this victory 😉
      Thanks so much for stopping by!

  • I fully embrace the desire to use noisemakers at hockey games. How else will your team know you are supporting them without taking their eyes off the game to look? I mean, the obnoxious noisemakers make everybody who doesn’t have them jealous! Men can be such spoil sports.

    • Thanks Linda, for your support! I may go into business with these noisemakers! Oh – and you’re right about that: they are pretty obnoxious and I’m not sure if our opponents are jealous. But at least they know we’re there 🙂

  • Seriously Astra, where’s the fun if no noisemakers are involved? I think you have to strategize so your husband’s on board with the little noisy cheer that your bottles filled with coffee beans are sure to bring. If all else fails, you can always make new ones in Syracuse!

    • Not to worry Bella! Since I am not going to Syracuse, I passed my “bag” of noisemakers on to another mom who is going. It’ll be far too late (and far too noisy!) when my husband realizes what I’ve done 😉

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About Astra
Ottawa mom of 3 poking fun at myself, motherhood, and minor hockey! I am steering through life dodging stinky hockey gear and empty wine bottles.
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