Dear Mother Nature,
After the rain, the sun shall shine, right? Whatever I did to offend you, I shall repent. I can see now your supremacy is untouchable. But enough with the rain already. Other than a brief moment of sun on Canada Day – very brief and very late in the afternoon – it has been raining for days! Did that Noah enter into a better covenant with you? I’ll double what he’s paying you. Name your price, just please let the sun shine for a few hours!.
I’m cold and I’m wet and I’m pretty darn miserable. I’m about to finish my second book this week. I even went swimming in the rain yesterday. I watched Space Buddies for the third time and my kids aren’t even around. I want to test drive my new clothesline. I can take no more.
I noticed on your blog (aka Environment Canada weather site) that you will be showering us until next Friday July 10th. Not only will this rain fall on me but on my two kids at camp near Bancroft and my daughter at camp in Algonquin Park. Surely they do not deserve the wrath intended for me and my transgressions. Please leave them and their camper friends out of our quarrel.
I humbly request you reconsider this current course of action and allow my newly painted picnic table to finally dry. Surely seeing flowers bloom in the sunshine and children frolicking in the lack is all part of your grand scheme? I really don’t think it’s too much to ask.
Your loyal and soggy servant,