happy faceOh I do believe I’m in for some fun times with teenagers!  Here’s the actual conversation at dinner last night: 

Kid:        So we had another health talk in gym class today.
Mom:     I thought you already had the talk in gym class.
Kid:        We did.  This was different.  This was mostly about girls.
Mom:     Oh.  So you learned about menstruation.
Kid:        Yeah.  You know its not really blood, right?
Mom:     Yes, I did know that.  Do you know what it means?
Kid:        Yeah.  It means girls are ready to do it.

 Oh my God.

 Mom:     Is that what your teacher told you?
Kid#3:     Ready to do what?
Kid:          And their hormones get all out of whack!
Dad:         No kidding.
Mom:      Excuse me?
Dad:         Nothing.  Nothing at all.
Kid:          Anyway, the teacher said, “You know when boys have fights and then 10 minutes later it’s over right?  Well, with girls, you know, they’ll be upset for a month”.  Man, it was so funny; everyone in the class laughed.
Mom:       Is that what your teacher told you?
Kid:            Well sort of…

Oh thank God

Mom:      You know that’s not entirely accurate, dear.  Just because a girl gets her period doesn’t mean she’s ready to do it.  In fact, she’s probably not ready to do it and neither are you.  It’s nature’s way of getting her body ready to have children.  Sex can be followed by the birth of children, you know.
Kid:       What’s for dessert?
Mom:    And another thing, the way that girls – or women – go about resolving conflict may be different than the way boys – or men resolve conflict but that doesn’t make it wrong.  We just like to make sure we calm down before we work things out.   It’s true that girls’ hormones fluctuate…
Kid:                 May I be excused?
Mom:              …but girls don’t really have control over how their hormones fluctuate and it may present itself in a lot of different ways.  Did your teacher mention that girls can also experience a great deal of pain and discomfort during her period?
Kid:                 Yes, he did say that.
Mom:              I think I’m going to give that teacher of yours a call.
Kid:                 Please don’t do that…
Mom:              So you weren’t actually listening?
Kid:                 I was most of the time.

Note to self:   Get husband to follow up on this conversation

Post script note to self:  Make sure to script this conversation for husband

Post post script note to self:  …after my period is over of course

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About Astra
Ottawa mom of 3 poking fun at myself, motherhood, and minor hockey! I am steering through life dodging stinky hockey gear and empty wine bottles.
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