It’s sad really. I was the apple of my kids’ eyes for what seemed like only a nanosecond. I have three kids and I was their go-to friend from birth until – well – about that time around Grade 8 where they each dropped me like a hot potato.  I suppose that’s about when independent social lives start to bloom and a mother’s presence not only is no longer necessary, it is a downright intrusion of the You Suck variety.

I frequently chaperoned field trips until returning to work outside the home and even then offered one field trip per child per school year which was happily approved and anticipated by each of my kids.  Until Grade 8. Then I sucked.

I happily hosted non-birthday parties around Christmas and Halloween for all our kids and their friends. Until Grade 8. Then I sucked.

We all posed for family photos at various events and important tourist shrines. Until Grade 8. Then I sucked.

The eagerness to have “Mom” participate in any aspect of their lives other than stocking the frig and doing the laundry, waned considerably around Grade 8.

Initially my boys still permitted my attendance on the field trips, but disappeared with their friends upon arrival, leaving me to chaperone the girls or whichever group was last assigned to a parent. Soon thereafter field trip forms start coming home with the preamble, “But they don’t need any volunteers”, or with the box “No” already checked off next the question, “If volunteers are needed, may we contact you?”, even from my daughter.

I have become middle-school-redundant.

And so today, we are off to my daughter’s Grade 8 graduation ceremony after which is a class dance at the local RA centre.  All was going very well with our graduation planning until she learned that I was volunteering at the dance.  This elicited a “You’re kidding, right?” response from a now grown-up thirteen year-old (in all fairness, I did sign up for clean-up, thinking I could stay out of the limelight and her wrath).

Just when I thought I would have to politely decline my assistance at the dance, an email from the organizer came out suggesting the window from the kitchen to the hall would be closed and parents could (should?) keep a low-profile.

So there.

I’m not the only one!

I’ve been practicing a few dance moves though should things get a little boring.




9 Responses to The Worm in the Apple

  • You can chaperone me anytime! And neither of us will keep a low profile, because you suck at being quiet in hotels.

  • Maybe you can become like the mom in the TV show, “The Goldbergs.” Have you seen it? It’s hilarious. She is very intrusive in the lives of her three children, two of whom are teens, and has even been known to show up (in disguise, wearing a bag over her head) at parties in the basement of their friends, just to check up on them. The show is actually based on the family of the show’s main writer/producer.

    • Or perhaps just maybe the show is based on me??
      Thanks Monica; I’ll look for the show – I’m certain it’s hilarious!!

  • Hilarious…even my fifth grader pulled a fast one on me…”losing” the permission slip for volunteers under his bed for some all day job fair where they role play. I even told him it wouldn’t hurt my feelings if he came out and said he didn’t want me there. But then of course it did…hurt…just a little…humor is king…and the only way to survive. And don’t get me started on the 13 year old….fun post…

  • Ack! This is so true! I have four and every single one of them decided I was no longer cool by the time they hit thirteen. Funny post!

  • I’ve sons starting middle and high schools this year, so we’ll see if my cool factor takes a dive. Just in case, I’ll keep my smooth moves in waiting. 😉

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About Astra
Ottawa mom of 3 poking fun at myself, motherhood, and minor hockey! I am steering through life dodging stinky hockey gear and empty wine bottles.
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